Let's get one thing straight. I will not be naming names. I'm not interested in ruining anyone's life, least of all my own. This blog is about one woman's unlikely journey into the abyss of sex addiction. Perhaps abyss is too strong a word. There are days when addiction feels like an overwhelming darkness from which I will never emerge, and days when sex is the only thing that keeps me going. Addiction is both friend and enemy, both comfort and pain.
My initial title for this blog was SHAME. Then I realized that JOY might be a more appropriate title. The truth is, sex brings me great pleasure, a kind of mind-blowing bliss I can find nowhere else. But it also brings me, on rare occasions, to the brink of suicide (I've peered over the edge, but have no desire to actually go there). As with any addiction, mine is self-destructive. But it is also, in many ways, restorative. More on that later.
For the moment let me just say that I am 34 years old, married, self-employed, the resident of a smallish city. If you were to see me on the street, you would not think anything was amiss. I do not have the gaunt, hollow-eyed look one might associate with addiction. My clothes are modest and clean, my hair is always combed, my shoes are, for the most part, sensible. I read books and go to movies and take public transportation. I eat well and do not overindulge in drink. I rarely do drugs.
In short, I am an average woman with an above-average desire, a desire which sometimes plays out in dangerous ways. I don't expect this blog to cure me. I don't expect it to cure anyone else. This is neither an exercise in self-help nor an experiment in public service. This is simply my story.
3 comments:
Hi Joy. I sure like that name. I believe this is your first blog I am responding to. I (SWM 50) have always wanted to marry a sex addict. Maybe that is because I have never been married, or had much sex. Humm. Well, I continue to self examine, when perhaps examining someone else might be more entertaining.
Be safe. I hope things are going well for you. It is dangerious out here.
- George
it is not an addiction, only a very sensual need.............i'am 61 and never had the opportunity you have..............take my word, that time passes all too swiftly...you don't to have any regrets.i know i do, before i was to ignorant.....etc....to realise,what i missed...don't let this happen to you....enjoy what you have.seems that every one wants to blame every thing on something.........just enjoy..........l e/j
joy....... don't feel bad, if you could talk w/other women, and they were honest.......they would envy you. to the point of being jelous of you, as u have point of self awarness that very few will ever experience in there whole lives....love to u.........e/j
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